I was not born a Feminst. In Utah, I became one

A moment in the life of a feminist:

Penis: (laughing) Are you a feminist?

Me: Yes. Are you?

Penis: Oh well I don’t know that much about it. So what do you do? Hate on men?

Me: No.

Penis: Aren’t you too pretty to be a feminist?

Sen. Orrin Hatch of Utah I Don't Want You to Spend Tax Payer's Money on NOT Teaching

The 12-11 vote by the Senate Finance Committee came over objections from its chairman, Democratic Sen. Max Baucus of Montana.

Two Democrats - Kent Conrad of North Dakota and Blanche Lincoln of Arkansas - joined all 10 committee Republicans in voting "yes" on the measure by Republican Sen. Orrin Hatch of Utah.

The measure would still have to pass the full House and Senate. Hatch said abstinence education had been shown to work, though Baucus disagreed. Obama had proposed in his 2010 budget to direct money spent on abstinence-only education to broader teen pregnancy-reduction programs.

As a resident of Utah and a feminist I am so disappointed. I'm sick of Republicans telling me how anti-government spending they are, how concerned they are about government programs and then turning around and supporting government spending on a program that teaches morality NOT science or safety in sex. In fact, it doesn't really teach at all. I'm not saying the Democrats are these frugal, infallible, politicians with all the answers, but at least some of them are actually bothering to look for some answers instead of give cash prizes to supposed health teachers that just finger-wag and have us color in pictures of male/female genitalia with Crayons. I'm not even kidding. That is what I did my very first day of school in Utah. The education I got in California was slightly better in that I heard what lesbians were, had heard of masturbation, and saw somewhere what condoms did even though I had not idea what a condom looked like or what really went on in masturbation, except that I thought it was something lesbians might do. I wouldn't have even heard of condoms for years and certainly not from an adult if it hadn't been for my 6th grade CA sex ed. class. I even, gasp, saw what the phases of pregnancy entailed. Provided, even in California, a supposedly progressive state, a male marriage counselor came in to tell our class how having sex with a woman before marriage gives boys a free ticket to disrespecting his wife. (I even got to play the wife who had foolishly given her husband "permission" to disrespect her by having sex with him.)

I'm going to go punch some glass now.

Coffee

The other night after a concert on campus my friends and I were taking the student shuttle up campus. There was this group of rowdy Japanese kids, the one with stylish bleached hair was standing behind me in this crowded shuttle and he proudly showed me his shirt which had the Starbucks logo, but was altered to say "Starfucks" "Have you heard of Starfucks? Starfucks coffee??" He asked me.
"Never heard of it. Is that where you work?"


So I know we could talk for a long time about sex workers, and so on. But... c'mon! The girls he was with exploded in laughter. He replied, "I wish!"

Seriously F*cked Up Book

Have a New Husband by Friday
So I haven't read this, and I don't really plan to, but the implications of the cute heart by the word "New" and then in red scroll underneath there were the words "by Friday." Yeah. That just freaked me out.

So being all freaked out, I clicked the ad because I had to know, "Really?" The descrpition goes on to explain that by simply changing yourself you can turn your husband into Mr. Perfect (I guess at that point you could change your name to Mrs. Perfect). The best part? It's "easy to swallow."

Oh and it's of course written by a man. Because who better to give women advice on what we ought to do?


The best part of all comes next when the publisher describes the book, this was actually supposed to help sell it. Ahh how easy men are to control...

Monday: Secrets Revealed: Cracking the Male Code• Yes, you're different species, but you can work together in harmony.
Tuesday: Creatures from Another Planet...or Creatures of Habit? To understand men, you have to track 'em to their den.
Wednesday: Think about What You Want to Say, Then Divide It by Ten How to talk so your guy will really listen...and listen so your guy will really talk.
Thursday: Think of Him as a Seal Waiting for a Three-Pound Fish Why making love to your man is a key to who he is and how satisfied he'll be, and what's in it for you.
Friday: It Takes a Real Woman to Make a Man Feel like a Real Man How to open your man's heart, revolutionize your love life, and turn him into the knight you've always dreamed of.

(Emphasis Added)

From the assumption that men have a secret "code" that women must decipher (because men shouldn't have to understand women it would be too difficult for their man-brains, that or his version of communication is much better since he's.. you know.. a man) to the idea that the house you live in is his not your's too, this book is insults everyone on so many levels. "To understand men you have to track 'em to their den."

The absolute worst is when you are told to think of your husband as seal and sex as a big fish he devours-- the "key to who he is and how satisfied he'll be." WRONG! Sex is not something you give men to turn them into knights. And men and boys actually have an identity outside of sex, despite what we're told. (These days some of them don't even roam around raping and pillaging all day-- some of them, like, have jobs and thoughts and emotions that relate to something other than their last burger!) Sex is something you might actually enjoy if you weren't imagining your husband as a big seal. The advice that tells women to talk a tenth of the time and shutup and listen to their husbands' words (oh Gloria! If only these people actually read that essay, Men and Women Talking) and the idea that you need to be a Real Woman(TM) in order for him to not be a piece of shit is repulsive-- this book looks like an incredibly insulting exercise in bringin' back the patriarchy (the big dumb, sex-crazed, easily manipulated patriarchy).


And I saw it being advertised on the Psychology Today site. WTF?? And after a google search, my first hit was at ChristianBook.Com. I'm not a Christian, but I wasn't aware that there was anything Christian about telling women that they can manipulate their fucking stupid husbands by shuting up and spreading their legs. And other Christians seem to think the same, no matter how anti-feminist they are.

If You Haven't Seen This Already...

(I'm not sure how anyone who would find this blog would have missed this video that has been viewed at least a million times, but that's not important.)

Feel Good Moment

I made on my friend's wall on facebook reguarding the beginning of semester:

Yeah. It started last week. I feel so tired. Beginning of the semester is rough. I like being social and getting to know people, but you know that about 80% of the people you get to know now will splinter off by the end of the year to go do their own thing. Plus, I've noticed some particular sucking on the part of guys this year. I've already heard a joke that compares a fat chick to a SCOOTER in that they are both embarassing when your friends find out you ride them (because, if I get fat that would suck.. for my boyfriend.. because I would be more like a scooter than a person at that point.) and a crazy good dancer whose shirt said "Find It. Fuck It. Forget It." UGH! *slams head against wall* (not mine, his.)

And in reply I got this comment from a completely random guy that I don't even know:

Anya, I don't even know the context of this post but you are freakin' hillarious.

Back for the New Year

Hello, anyone who might be out there! I'm back. After a summer in China, all around the US, and back I'm in school again and trying to get caught up again. I've got a lot going on this year so I'm not sure how much I can write, but I will try. I want to be a better writer and a better blogger and I view this blog as my starting block. I'm not sure if or when I might graduate to a Better Blog or even have a better name for my blog or a customized layout or even be able to comment on feministing.com (for some reason I always get error messages.) BUT I do know that this little baby of a blog is my start.
Lately I've been reading and loving Gloria Steinem's Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions. I admire the ability and courage Steinem writes with. My only complaint and it's a minor one, is that she tends to use "men" where I think patriarchy is more applicable. What I'm growing to realize is that feminism can seem inaccessible to men because they are often grouped together as "the patriarchy" and I think that as a feminist using specific and correct language is important. We have to realize that not all men are part of the patriarchy and that it is a widespread organization that claims many female members. Aside from that, I think this book is already changing my life and how I view feminism. I realize now how far I have to go and how far I've come in my path toward feminism. How complex and challenging some of these ideas are and how much I need to expand my understanding of them. For example, the fact that it isn't worthwhile or feminist to view being "one of the guys" as better or preferable to being a girl, how being a woman in a male-dominated profession is a bitter-sweet victory and how successful women alone are not enough. Feminism asks us not only to be personally successful, strong women, but also to give that strength over to our fellow women and lift one another up. It is not enough to propel ourselves forward, in order to be a feminist you must be willing to share your victories with other women.

Well, I encourage you to read Gloria Steinem's work yourself.