Back for the New Year

Hello, anyone who might be out there! I'm back. After a summer in China, all around the US, and back I'm in school again and trying to get caught up again. I've got a lot going on this year so I'm not sure how much I can write, but I will try. I want to be a better writer and a better blogger and I view this blog as my starting block. I'm not sure if or when I might graduate to a Better Blog or even have a better name for my blog or a customized layout or even be able to comment on feministing.com (for some reason I always get error messages.) BUT I do know that this little baby of a blog is my start.
Lately I've been reading and loving Gloria Steinem's Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions. I admire the ability and courage Steinem writes with. My only complaint and it's a minor one, is that she tends to use "men" where I think patriarchy is more applicable. What I'm growing to realize is that feminism can seem inaccessible to men because they are often grouped together as "the patriarchy" and I think that as a feminist using specific and correct language is important. We have to realize that not all men are part of the patriarchy and that it is a widespread organization that claims many female members. Aside from that, I think this book is already changing my life and how I view feminism. I realize now how far I have to go and how far I've come in my path toward feminism. How complex and challenging some of these ideas are and how much I need to expand my understanding of them. For example, the fact that it isn't worthwhile or feminist to view being "one of the guys" as better or preferable to being a girl, how being a woman in a male-dominated profession is a bitter-sweet victory and how successful women alone are not enough. Feminism asks us not only to be personally successful, strong women, but also to give that strength over to our fellow women and lift one another up. It is not enough to propel ourselves forward, in order to be a feminist you must be willing to share your victories with other women.

Well, I encourage you to read Gloria Steinem's work yourself.

Reader's Digest Amazes Me

This amazing article popped out at me from the cover of a Reader's Digest in the airport. I was amazed reading it at how sexism, in a field with a 40% pay gap between men and women effects and hurts women. The article talks about how most medicine is tested on white males, yet differences in gender (and race) play a large role in how people need to be treated medically. The fact is that men and women are generally treated the same by doctors, yet we metabolize and react to medicine differently based on our gender. But don't trust me.. read the article!!

Do men get it?

I've often wondered this and right now, I'm not sure they do.
Maybe some do. I don't know.
I'm just sick and tired of hearing about the plight of the MRA, I mean the fact is that feminists have worked so long and so hard to try and peel back people's conceptions of what being a man, woman, bi, trans, gay, whatever person is because people are PEOPLE. Feminists are, to me, humanists and anyone strong enough to carry the title of FEMINIST is so much more. Unfortunately, MRAs don't get it. And neither do most men I know. I mean honestly, they get so hung up on feminists having the femi prefix. Like having to carry a name that sounds and IS female makes it biased against everything else. Hello?

Twitterpated

It seems that everyone is twittering and I'm wondering if it's a good idea to start or not. At first I can't really understand why in the world anyone would want to follow the trivial happenings of anyone else's life. I wonder what ever happened to just asking.. In person. I've met enough people who can't communicate with out their electronic crutch to see the inherent dangers of Twitter. I like the real world and it's easy to get sucked into social networking. I know people who live for facebook, WoW, FFIXI, and of course blogs. All good things, but not at the expense of living.

On the other hand, I'd like to be read by some people at some point and I'm just not sure how to go about that. I don't want to ask people to spread this around, I don't even tell friends and family because I don't want them to influence my writing too much. I want to be able to "write nakedly" as Mian Mian put it. Twitter could help.
I suppose a lot of this comes down to effort. How much do I want to get down to business with this blog?

Puberty Funnies

My little brother is almost at that age so his school rounded up all the boys and girls to tell them what joys await in the wild world of puberty. After school on the day of the great enlightenment he came home and said to our mother while holding up a stick of deodorant, "Look what they gave us in school!" He then lifted up his shirt and smeared it all over his chest.
I'm sure he'll get the idea sooner or later. Until then, he can unintentionally provide everyone with lots of laughs.

Honestly?

So I've been having honesty issues with the S/O and I did a Google search to see if anyone else had similar problems and guess what? No. They don't.

Instead, I found a lot of fat (or supposedly fat) girls saying their boyfriends told them to lose weight and they were glad he was "honest." Fuck. That.

"Honestly, you're a jag-toothed ogre-like woman."
"Wow, thanks for being so open and honest with me!"

Of course we had the guys replying that "skinny rail-thin model types" are ugly (ahem, that would be types like me) and that they prefer "healthy" women. Fuck. That.

We have to admit America has weight issues. So let's say you look at yourself and feel like you're too fat. If you want to exercise, if it makes you feel good, I can't knock that. My suite mate has lost a lot of weight this year and she's worked hard to do that. I really admire her dedication and how it's positively impacted her-- and no, she doesn't have a boyfriend. More power to her.
But if you're losing weight because you feel so bad about the way you are, if you feel guilty after every meal, if you hate your body. That's not good.

In other words do it because you love yourself, not because you hate yourself.

Now onto the guys who use that stupid "healthy" euphemism. If I were 60 lbs heavier and it were all fat that would not be healthy. The point is that if you go around saying that being fat is better than being skinny then it still puts the emphasis on men determining my and my fellow ladies' worth based off our weight (or looks) and how healthy is that? It says that the only thing we're good for, the only worth-while pursuit we can have is to look pretty. Wrong message to send to a girl who just got told that in order to look pretty for her boyfriend she needs to hit the treadmill.

For a long time I tried to gain weight so my "rail thin" ass wouldn't be so bony and my friends would stop calling me anorexic. Guess how healthy that was.

As for the boyfriends who "honestly" tell their girlfriends what lardos they are, um. Seriously? Do we even need to address why you don't say that the one thing that makes you unhappy is that your girlfriend's fat? I mean REALLY!?

If you're into skinny girls, fine. Everyone has a right to be attracted to whoever they're attracted to. But you willingly dated this chick so don't try to pretend like you aren't attracted to your hot, 170 lb 5"2 girlfriend, this is what she looks like, just like I can't mold my white boyfriend into some kind of Antonio Banderas, your girlfriend shouldn't have to find out what you're attracted to and change to fit that. You should pursue what interests you without trampling someone else's self image in the process. It's just cruel to bring down a girl's self esteem like that. You already told her you're attracted to her by being in a relationship with her. Oh and when she starts acting insecure or paranoid you can thank all that honesty.

Marriage is not about Love

That's right. I said it. Marriage is not about love. You were tricked into thinking it was!
Here's what marriage really is: a legal contract between two people.