Seriously F*cked Up Book

Have a New Husband by Friday
So I haven't read this, and I don't really plan to, but the implications of the cute heart by the word "New" and then in red scroll underneath there were the words "by Friday." Yeah. That just freaked me out.

So being all freaked out, I clicked the ad because I had to know, "Really?" The descrpition goes on to explain that by simply changing yourself you can turn your husband into Mr. Perfect (I guess at that point you could change your name to Mrs. Perfect). The best part? It's "easy to swallow."

Oh and it's of course written by a man. Because who better to give women advice on what we ought to do?


The best part of all comes next when the publisher describes the book, this was actually supposed to help sell it. Ahh how easy men are to control...

Monday: Secrets Revealed: Cracking the Male Code• Yes, you're different species, but you can work together in harmony.
Tuesday: Creatures from Another Planet...or Creatures of Habit? To understand men, you have to track 'em to their den.
Wednesday: Think about What You Want to Say, Then Divide It by Ten How to talk so your guy will really listen...and listen so your guy will really talk.
Thursday: Think of Him as a Seal Waiting for a Three-Pound Fish Why making love to your man is a key to who he is and how satisfied he'll be, and what's in it for you.
Friday: It Takes a Real Woman to Make a Man Feel like a Real Man How to open your man's heart, revolutionize your love life, and turn him into the knight you've always dreamed of.

(Emphasis Added)

From the assumption that men have a secret "code" that women must decipher (because men shouldn't have to understand women it would be too difficult for their man-brains, that or his version of communication is much better since he's.. you know.. a man) to the idea that the house you live in is his not your's too, this book is insults everyone on so many levels. "To understand men you have to track 'em to their den."

The absolute worst is when you are told to think of your husband as seal and sex as a big fish he devours-- the "key to who he is and how satisfied he'll be." WRONG! Sex is not something you give men to turn them into knights. And men and boys actually have an identity outside of sex, despite what we're told. (These days some of them don't even roam around raping and pillaging all day-- some of them, like, have jobs and thoughts and emotions that relate to something other than their last burger!) Sex is something you might actually enjoy if you weren't imagining your husband as a big seal. The advice that tells women to talk a tenth of the time and shutup and listen to their husbands' words (oh Gloria! If only these people actually read that essay, Men and Women Talking) and the idea that you need to be a Real Woman(TM) in order for him to not be a piece of shit is repulsive-- this book looks like an incredibly insulting exercise in bringin' back the patriarchy (the big dumb, sex-crazed, easily manipulated patriarchy).


And I saw it being advertised on the Psychology Today site. WTF?? And after a google search, my first hit was at ChristianBook.Com. I'm not a Christian, but I wasn't aware that there was anything Christian about telling women that they can manipulate their fucking stupid husbands by shuting up and spreading their legs. And other Christians seem to think the same, no matter how anti-feminist they are.

If You Haven't Seen This Already...

(I'm not sure how anyone who would find this blog would have missed this video that has been viewed at least a million times, but that's not important.)

Honestly?

So I've been having honesty issues with the S/O and I did a Google search to see if anyone else had similar problems and guess what? No. They don't.

Instead, I found a lot of fat (or supposedly fat) girls saying their boyfriends told them to lose weight and they were glad he was "honest." Fuck. That.

"Honestly, you're a jag-toothed ogre-like woman."
"Wow, thanks for being so open and honest with me!"

Of course we had the guys replying that "skinny rail-thin model types" are ugly (ahem, that would be types like me) and that they prefer "healthy" women. Fuck. That.

We have to admit America has weight issues. So let's say you look at yourself and feel like you're too fat. If you want to exercise, if it makes you feel good, I can't knock that. My suite mate has lost a lot of weight this year and she's worked hard to do that. I really admire her dedication and how it's positively impacted her-- and no, she doesn't have a boyfriend. More power to her.
But if you're losing weight because you feel so bad about the way you are, if you feel guilty after every meal, if you hate your body. That's not good.

In other words do it because you love yourself, not because you hate yourself.

Now onto the guys who use that stupid "healthy" euphemism. If I were 60 lbs heavier and it were all fat that would not be healthy. The point is that if you go around saying that being fat is better than being skinny then it still puts the emphasis on men determining my and my fellow ladies' worth based off our weight (or looks) and how healthy is that? It says that the only thing we're good for, the only worth-while pursuit we can have is to look pretty. Wrong message to send to a girl who just got told that in order to look pretty for her boyfriend she needs to hit the treadmill.

For a long time I tried to gain weight so my "rail thin" ass wouldn't be so bony and my friends would stop calling me anorexic. Guess how healthy that was.

As for the boyfriends who "honestly" tell their girlfriends what lardos they are, um. Seriously? Do we even need to address why you don't say that the one thing that makes you unhappy is that your girlfriend's fat? I mean REALLY!?

If you're into skinny girls, fine. Everyone has a right to be attracted to whoever they're attracted to. But you willingly dated this chick so don't try to pretend like you aren't attracted to your hot, 170 lb 5"2 girlfriend, this is what she looks like, just like I can't mold my white boyfriend into some kind of Antonio Banderas, your girlfriend shouldn't have to find out what you're attracted to and change to fit that. You should pursue what interests you without trampling someone else's self image in the process. It's just cruel to bring down a girl's self esteem like that. You already told her you're attracted to her by being in a relationship with her. Oh and when she starts acting insecure or paranoid you can thank all that honesty.